“Nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone,” says Maya Angelou. This statement is true, but it’s equally important to be intentional about the people we surround ourselves with. We must choose friends wisely since it can make all the difference in our journey through life.
There are different kinds of people in this world. There are those who are loners. They have few friends and they are comfortable for long periods of time being by themselves.
Then there are those who must have people around them, always. They are uncomfortable being alone. They like the idea of having lots of “friends” and being always on the social scene.
If you are one of those latter personalities, you must be particularly careful as a young Christian. The Bible tells us that, ‘A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Prov. 18:24).
When you are new to the faith it‘s important that YOU CHOOSE your friends and choose them wisely. Some people allow themselves to be chosen and so they find themselves in groups and associations that they should not be a part of.
A Christian must get used to the idea of being alone at times.
It is in these times that your spirit can be quiet and you can commune with your heavenly father. You cannot grow in your faith if you neglect quiet times in the presence of God.
When you accept Christ, you must make it known. That is what your baptism is partly about. However, you must figure out how to start drifting away from old friends who may have a negative influence. It may be a harsh saying, but the truth is that ungodly friends can lead you away and keep you away from God.
When you become a Christian your path is now different. You are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). You can no longer go where they are going or do what they are doing. The truth is that if you remain in a tight circle with your old friends you will be influenced by them. You’ll be a very superficial Christian because you are trying to straddle the fence.
There is a scripture that says, “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” (2 Corinthians 6:17). If you decide to grow in your faith, you must take the necessary steps to do so and often this means rethinking some relationships.
Your friends are not likely to be supportive and helpful on this new path. Some may even ridicule your decision to serve Christ. At this point you can either give in to peer pressure or you can start putting a healthy distance between you and them.
You must choose! You must choose friends wisely!
Some people are not willing to make this choice and they are soon led back to the old life that they knew. A young Christian should be willing to walk away so that old friends can see the difference in your life and be curious enough to want to know the reason why you are now living a new life.
Their curiosity will give you the opportunity to be a witness of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. To think that you can convert your friends when you are a babe in Christ is to be foolish. The Bible warns us in 1 Cor. 10:12, Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.
Jesus also said. You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters. You cannot follow me unless you love me more than you love your own life. (Contemporary English Version)
How to Make Christian Friends in a Secular World
To make new Christian friends you must place yourself in Christian circles. And because you are seeking friends, you get to observe the people around you and decide who you want to know better. If you are going to choose friends wisely, you must be observant.
My best friend is someone whom I saw sitting by herself many years ago. After observing her over a few weeks, I noticed that she was always alone. I approached her, introduced myself and we started talking. We’ve been friends since. The Bible says that in seeking friends we must show ourselves friendly.
Get yourself involved in your church.
As a new Christian you should get involved in your local church so that you can be taught and discipled. This involvement will also offer you the opportunity to serve and meet new people. As you interact with others in the faith you are likely to make new friends.
Mission Trips
Some churches also offer opportunities to travel abroad. Many go on short term mission trips. This is an excellent opportunity for you can broaden your horizons’ learn to share your faith and make friends both at home and abroad.
In your search for friends, it is also very important that you pray about it. God is concerned about every area of your life, so tell him that you desire new friends and ask Him to bring those new friends into your life.
While man sees the outward appearance, God knows the heart of every person. Remember when Samuel went to anoint the next king of Israel in 1 Samuel 16?
6 When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and said, “Surely here before the LORD is His anointed.” 7But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or height, for I have rejected him; the LORD does not see as man does. For man sees the outward appearance, but the LORD sees the heart.” …
Jessies oldest impressed Samuel. But God said, do not look on his appearance, because I have rejected him.
God knows the inner man. He sees beyond what the naked eye can see vv . God knows you; he knows your personality and he knows who will be the best people in your life. Trust Him to bring those people across your path.
The Importance of Shared Values in Friendships
A Christian should not have best friends who are not themselves Christians. That is a situation that is similar to being unequally yoked in a romantic relationship.
A friend is someone who is close to you. A friend and especially a “best friend” is someone who you can count on to offer emotional support when you need it. This is the person or people who you call when things are not going well and you need to talk with someone. They are the ones who offer encouragement and support when you need it.
Your best friend should be someone that you can call to get advice. This is why it is so important that these be godly people. An unsaved person will not know God’s heart. They cannot tell you what the Lord would have you know in any situation.
Friends must be people who you can pray with you and who will pray for you. They are also the people who you spend time with. If your friends are ungodly, you will stray. Do not think that you are strong enough to persuade them or convert them. You can pray for them but it is only the Holy Spirit who can bring conviction.
The Bible gives us a clear guideline on how to choose friends and having shared values ranks highest on that list.
It is crucial that you surround yourself with godly friends.
Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (AMPC)
Proverbs 13:20 ESV Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 13:20 ESV Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 22:24 – 25 ESV Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
James 4:4 ESV You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Amos 3:3 (KJV) Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
The Impact of Social Media on Friendships
Social media has significantly reshaped the nature of friendships, both positively and negatively. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can be a space where Christians build communities, encourage each other, and spread the gospel message. Christians can share Bible studies, prayer requests, and personal testimonies to encourage others on their Christian journey.
However, social media can also encourage superficial interactions and hinder authentic friendships. It can create the illusion of having many friends or even having deep relationships with people we do not really know. Deep, meaningful relationships are created over time and are built on elements of commonalty, respect and trust.
Should Christians be on Social Media?
Dr. Paul Tripp recently addressed this question. You’d do well to read his response https://www.paultripp.com/ask-paul-tripp/posts/should-christians-be-on-social-media
Man is a social creature. We all want to feel that sense of belonging when we are welcomed and accepted into a group. However we must be careful of those we choose to spend time with.
Our friends can greatly influence our thoughts and behaviors. we become more and more like the people we choose to hang around. Show me your company and I’ll tell you who you are.” This is another popular proverb which illustrates the importance of choosing carefully the people we call friends.
Our friends must be people who can contribute positively to our lives. They support us, encourage us, provide us godly advice and we feel accepted, appreciated and loved in their presence.
Surrounding ourselves with the right people can shape our character, strengthen our faith, and guide us toward becoming the best version of ourselves. When we choose friends wisely, we invite into our lives people who uplift and inspire us. We create an environment where we can grow, thrive, and walk confidently in our purpose